I write a lot, I can’t stop,
I have so much inside that I can’t express myself,
in other ways: I have to let off steam …
I often wonder if I’m free,
if my choices are,
Or if we are predestined to take them?
I am missing a tooth,
vague as a moron.
If God really exists,
so what are these coincidences?
or the past that comes back, with violence?
I don’t know if I’m too strong to give up,
or too weak to let it go.
I have only the hope of the miracle left.
And I ask God, why can’t I do certain things?
God, do you exist? If you exist why am I never able to make things go the way I want?
Why is it never okay with the things I care about?
Because for the umpteenth time, circles of hell,
things that are of no use to anyone in the end?
Will all this really do any good?
Is there a reason why there are so many coincidences?
I hope that by making different choices from the past,
understanding what I really want,
something will change.
In life everything is possible,
I’d like to break down the pile of shit,
that I have on.
I think I can do it.
Can I have love?
Can unrequited love,
become paid later?
Can I be happy, as I decide? God…
If you are there let me know,
let me know why my life has always been like this.
I think I deserve what I want,
not “a greater good” that does not exist, never existed.
“I deserve better” … is that really so?
In the end there has never been better …
I’m starting to be a certain age to understand certain things,
as well as the rules of my life,
so different from the others.
At some point you understand what you really,
You just … you don’t know how to get it yet.
God, how come things repeat themselves?
Perhaps for true happiness it takes commitment and sacrifice …
Just as I try to work hard to make all my dreams come true,
also with love and friendship.
Each of us prays,
I hope it is not a deception.
Sometimes it happened to think that there was actually something “superior” … but boh.
The fact is that if there are various coincidences, it is no coincidence.
But will it end differently?
Who knows if you know, dear God.
You lead me,
since I am no longer able.