#Poetry:”I just can’t do it.” (Apathy scares me)

ITA VERSION HERE: https://loscrittorevolante.com/2021/06/08/non-ce-la-faccio-proprio-lapatia-mi-spaventa/

.

I’m sorry,

but I just can’t do it.

I just can’t be “cynical”.

To me, this apathy scares me.

I have tried it for years,

and it was like being dead.

I ask myself,

how do others die every day.

I’m afraid,

of this slow death.

This false indifference,

these shields of appearances.

I’m really tired,

of these clichés.

Of these chants,

it seems that they are all homologated,

to all say the same things.

To really see life,

with white and black.

And a time,

accused me of doing it.

Now I have grown up,

I have recovered from malaise.

I can’t take it anymore,

to return without feelings,

to bring me down.

I stay up,

I resist,

against my own suffering and pain.

I want things,

I got tired of thinking in certain ways.

Sure,

it would be easy to give up,

get caught up in the tide of this world.

Maybe be like someone else,

I can’t give up,

I can’t let it go.

I can carry on,

but only as I say.

I’m sorry,

I just can’t do it.

And you know the paradoxical thing?

That nobody understands,

that in any case no one has ever understood how I am made,

or wanted to ignore sides of my personality,

or did he just leverage my weaknesses,

but the paradoxical thing is …

 that’s how I love myself.

That’s exactly what I decide.

Tell me if you understand,

but maybe not quite.

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