italian/original version here.
Do I hate? No, I don’t think I’ve ever hated. I was disappointed, pissed off, I moved away, even ran away from certain situations …
But no, I hate I don’t think I’ve ever tried it, ever for real.
When the anger has passed, I have always forgiven, or let it go, without feeling a grudge. If anger is a brief hatred, then yes.
But if I don’t keep it, as love is preserved and lasts, no. I have no hate.
I’ve always wanted to make a difference, but not for the world, but for myself, understanding even when I was younger, that time spent hating is time wasted.
A bit like the one spent judging someone else.
It’s all a bit of a joke, after all. People are silly, and I’m not like them.
Perhaps I have always had the wisdom to forgive, even though I have suffered a lot. Although it seems that I don’t know what real pain is.
But your pain, like so many other things, is invisible, other people cannot understand it, not as you would like.
“There is worse in life”, you told me, among the many crap you gave me, S ****.
After all, the more time passes and the less weight I give to that mountain of muck of messages, your own “whirlwinds of thoughts”, which, now that I think about it, had neither head nor tail.
It looked more like a mix of shit they told you… so well, I forgive you, I forgive everyone.
I’ll never hate anyone,
I will be better than you, because otherwise I would suck to be like you.
And no, I’m not referring to YOU, specifically.
I am referring to those who really do evil; to those who truly hate, to those who do not know love and forgiveness.
I have always preferred the path of justice, love, and forgiveness. I tried, at least. I haven’t always been able to.
I am still pissed at those who destroyed me at the vira, with those who annihilated my self-esteem when I was a boy, who contributed to the shit even in the following years …
See, I don’t hate you, S ****. And I don’t hate anyone today.
I hate those things that put me in this situation, maybe. I hate… maybe, those who hurt me in my childhood and adolescence.
And if I don’t hate the people I love, and I hate whoever made them feel this way… well, this talk is related to any and all.
Although I don’t understand why anyone who doesn’t want to hurt (and doesn’t) should get involved. Mah!
I hate whoever hits me when I’m weakest. I hate anyone who didn’t help me when I needed it.
Blaming me rather than support.
How many times could I have heard:
– Eh, if they make fun of you, change your attitude, dress differently …
As if it were my fault.
IT IS THE SAME REASONING as rape: “it’s the fault of the woman who dressed like that”.
Perhaps I have never hated, no.
But I’ve always been pissed off at this shit.
That you never think, that you don’t know what true suffering is.
Because, trust me, being able to not hate and become as they say: “Cynical”, is the greatest suffering possible.
To endure everything, even if I were the Messiah …
And it’s not that I believe these things too much, but … I don’t do it for spirituality or religion,
but to save myself.
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