Italain version here.
We are reborn, we grow. There are obstacles along one’s path: it almost seems that you want to force a person to love you, and then it bursts. It all explodes, it all ends.
And you have to find answers that you don’t approve of, but you have no more to give yourself, to tell you.
Rather, it seems to be just an illusion.
They say that people do not change, I “protest”, saying that many do not want to notice, or do not notice the change.
And, if they notice it, they piss off, continuing to ask you questions: “Why? Do this, do that … “
Who the fuck asked you for an opinion, beg your pardon?
People always want you to change, when you do they feel bad about it. So, let’s evolve as we see fit.
One day, after some time at home, in September, with the first bad weather, the first big change in temperature, I felt ready to be reborn. For real, this time, in a much better way.
And to do that, I didn’t go to my usual places, but I thought about a specific place. Let’s say, the same one in which I felt my heart was broken.
You will see it, in the featured photo.
I was and still am, determined to be reborn and change. I have often thought, probably wrongly, that I should prove the change to others. But in doing so, I know I haven’t managed mine well.
Now, the only one who has to notice, after all, is me. The only one who has to prove it, and if the others notice it or not, with all respect, I give it two thousand pairs of balls. The same ones that break me in the end.
So, I have to realize that I’m better, don’t I?
Moving Forward, with the solid certainty that no one has understood a shit. By rationalizing, everything is clear.
I’ve always been able to do it, better than others who think I’m irrational. In a better way than most, and I will sound presumptuous, but I don’t give a shit about that either.
After all, you are wrong where you don’t want to do it, where you would like to change reality. I know I exaggerated, I know the mistakes. I might even go so far as to admit: “I deserved it”.
But never, say that I am as someone defined me, misrepresenting my words and actions.
Not with those who have not even given me the opportunity to clarify, and to remedy. By imposing me (and then it would be me), their choices and ideas.
I remain of the idea (repetition), of being a victim of the same things I am accused of, but now, it matters little, just as it matters little in the end, even admitting that I deserved it. So what would ever change? Would anyone understand me? Would I be able to do something? To be a friend? Or maybe doing this would give the impression of being a “little man”, as I would give up my pride?
What does it matter in the end?
You can take on all the responsibilities in the world, but …
I didn’t want to change or force anyone, and now I can say: I didn’t need to.
And not even want to, in the end. If it weren’t for many things, I could have had a nice balanced relationship with that, and those people.
So, as you may have guessed, I have no other choice “left” to stop thinking about it, start healing, and be reborn in a “new world”, no longer some things, and people of the past. Realizing that, to achieve my goals, I “had to” change some aspects of my personality, keep some, and find someone lost, to make myself better.
In MY eyes, though.
So much so, as much as it is “boomer” to say: there will always be someone who will break your balls for something, except … Except those who really understand you. And, he doesn’t always understand you all the time, friends also change and stop understanding some things. And there are those who reject change, and remain behind, despite advancing age.
But I, I advance. I’ve always wanted to do it, I’ve always wanted to go higher than before, fly higher, and reach new places.
I’m not “too ambitious”, at the behest of beautiful girls. Perhaps they were too little for me. And someone will laugh in my face, and then I’ll give a damn highly.
Because a friend of many years ago (his name was Vincenzo), when he was my age, told me about “going to the top of the pyramid”, after I realized that even a top of a pyramid was too little for me.
That I would have preferred to fly in the sky, to never stop.
That my desire for a new body was great. Thus, the 19th rebirth: “A New World” has become something tremendously powerful. A rebirth that has unlocked and exists with infinite potential, capable of evolving and growing.
My heart is no longer a child, but a tree with infinite energy, which grows, and will be the tree of the world. My new world.
Something that points upwards, like the sword in the image in evidence, exactly as Stefania explained to me that evening.
After all, I always wanted something like this, to rise above everything: every hatred, every judgment, every prejudice, every mistake.
Above any other human being, to be better of that and those who have only shown contempt for me, for never being like them.
To always be steps ahead of everyone.
I run, I always run forward, and I never want to stop.
And it will be this awareness of being able to and knowing how to be better that will give me hope.
Hello, if you want to support me, you’d do me a huge favor by following my blog and/or my social medias, leaving a like and/or a comment, listening to my podcast, and share!
Many thanks! 😊
You can find all of this below
👇 👇 👇